The Agony and Ecstacy

Last week Bhṛgupati Prabhu, Parameśvara Prabhu, Bhakta Mike, Bhakta Vasillios, and I flew out to Tennessee for a wonderful opportunity for book distribution. I checked the weather report ahead of time and it showed scattered thundershowers for the whole week. Rāya Nitāi Prabhu and Ārya-siddhānta Prabhu picked us up from the airport in Nashville, TN. It was nice to see them again and to have the association of so many nice devotees.

When we arrived in Manchester the foreboding sky was dark with ominous clouds. The locals told us that the sky had been threatening rain for over a week while not yielding even a drop. As Thursday rolled around and the kids began filling up the camping areas for the concert, the clouds finally unleashed their pent up fury. Rain, lightning, and thunder resounded across the land as the clouds sweep past us in their cyclic motion. A few hours later the rain stoped and I began distributing Śrīla Prabhupāda's books.

The people eagerly took the books and gave donations while sprinkles of rain punctuated the day. After Bhṛgupati and I finished our first bag we went back to reload and take a little prasādam. By the time we went out again the sky was sunny and clear and the sun stirred up a great deal of humidity with its heat. We had assigned areas to work for the day and the next area was a thirty minute brisk walk away. By the time we got there my body was overheating and I had to sit down for a minute. Bhṛgupati began distributing and I tried to stop the inevitable onslaught of heatstroke.

First came the pounding headaches, then the nausea and dizziness. Shortly after I vomited twice and I was forced to lay down in a shady place for about two hours and slowly sip on water. Some nice person came by and offered ice, which I used to ice my body down with as I desperately tried to regulate my temperature. Fortunately I began feeling better toward the evening while dark clouds covered the sky again. By the time I met up with Bhṛgupati again there was only a half of an hour of distribution time left. I was feeling frustrated that my body is so unfit for the service of Lord Caitanya.

The next three days though went much better. By Kṛṣṇa's mercy I was able to taste the nectar of book distribution, completely forgetting the bag of bones I have to drag around. We met so many nice people out there, just waiting for the opportunity to hear about Kṛṣṇa. One group I met was eagerly waiting for us to come by their camp this year. I arrived in the evening and introduced myself when they said, "Oh, we have been waiting for you guys with the Indian books!" They had received Śrīla Prabhupāda's books last year and wanted more. I brought different books this year, so they all took a Journey of Self-Discovery, Science of Self-Realization, and Bhagavad-gītā As It Is.

When I was going through an area that Parameśvara had gone through the previous day, I met one kid who had seen the Bhagavad-gītā the day before. I showed the books to him all over again and he took quite an interest. He wanted all three of the bigger books and asked how much of a donation to give. I never like telling people how much to give. I prefer to let people give according to the inspiration they receive from Kṛṣṇa, that way they never feel like they were hustled out of their money. So, I explained that it is a donation from the heart and to give as he feels inspired. He liked that very much and gave a generous donation. He continued asking nice questions and then he asked how much the books cost again. I could tell that he wanted to give more, so I explained to him how I refuse to degrade this priceless transcendental literature by putting a price on it. Rather, he should give as he feels inspired according to his means. So, he pulled out his wallet again and doubled what he gave earlier. Both satisfied, I bade him farewell and went on to meet more nice people.

I was talking to a group of three kids when a fourth came out from the tent. The fourth said that he already had the Gītā. I could tell he was trying to break up the conversation and disrupt his friends from getting any books. Two of his friends lost interest when he said this, but the first kid I showed the books to reached for his wallet. As he did this the fourth said, "Dude, I have these at home. I can give mine to you." The first kid rebutted, "Yeah, but I want to get these books from this monk and I want to give him a donation also!" So he gave a generous donation and took the books.

I met countless people who were very nice and eager to get the mercy of Śrīla Prabhupāda. The whole time I was out there I was meditating on a purport in the seventh canto where Śrīla Prabhupāda stresses the importance of sharing Kṛṣṇa:

"For a devotee, being situated in the heavenly planets and being in the hellish planets are equal, for a devotee lives neither in heaven nor in hell but with Kṛṣṇa in the spiritual world. The secret of success for the devotee is not understood by the karmīs and jñānīs. Karmīs therefore try to be happy by material adjustment, and jñānīs want to be happy by becoming one with the Supreme. The devotee has no such interest. He is not interested in so-called meditation in the Himalayas or the forest. Rather, his interest is in the busiest part of the world, where he teaches people Kṛṣṇa consciousness. The Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement was started for this purpose. We do not teach one to meditate in a secluded place just so that one may show that he has become very much advanced and may be proud of his so-called transcendental meditation, although he engages in all sorts of foolish materialistic activity. A Vaiṣṇava like Prahlāda Mahārāja is not interested in such a bluff of spiritual advancement. Rather, he is interested in enlightening people in Kṛṣṇa consciousness because that is the only way for them to become happy. Prahlāda Mahārāja says clearly, nānyaṁ tvad asya śaraṇaṁ bhramato 'nupaśye: "I know that without Kṛṣṇa consciousness, without taking shelter of Your lotus feet, one cannot be happy." One wanders within the universe, life after life, but by the grace of a devotee, a servant of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, one can get the clue to Kṛṣṇa consciousness and then not only become happy in this world but also return home, back to Godhead. That is the real target in life. The members of the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement are not at all interested in so-called meditation in the Himalayas or the forest, where one will only make a show of meditation, nor are they interested in opening many schools for yoga and meditation in the cities. Rather, every member of the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is interested in going door to door to try to convince people about the teachings of Bhagavad-gītā As It Is, the teachings of Lord Caitanya. That is the purpose of the Hare Kṛṣṇa movement. The members of the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement must be fully convinced that without Kṛṣṇa one cannot be happy." (Srimad-bhagavatam 7.9.44)

Nānyaṁ tvad asya śaraṇaṁ bhramato 'nupaśye: "I know that without Kṛṣṇa consciousness, without taking shelter of Your lotus feet, one cannot be happy." This is the point. We have to be fully convinced that without Kṛṣṇa one cannot be happy. If we experience the happiness of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, then we must be liberal and generous with this most divine elixir. We must distribute it without any material distinction for the benefit of all the suffering conditioned souls. We must canvass door to door, person to person, begging everyone we meet to take to this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement for their own well-being. We must entreat them with all humility to seriously imbibe the Bhagavad-gītā As It Is, the teachings of Lord Caitanya, and thus become happy. Our happiness comes from seeing others becoming happy in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

The business of the mind.

        The business of the mind is saṅkalpa and vikalpa. Saṅkalpa means to decide to do something, and vikalpa means again to reject it. That is the business of mind. Everyone desires peacefulness of the mind, but the nature of the material mind is saṅkalpa and vikalpa—restlessness. We cannot fix the mind in a peaceful condition. Without spiritual intelligence, the mind will accept and reject that which is favorable and unfavorable for the comfort of the senses. On the material level this acceptance and rejection translates into hankering and lamentation. No matter how great or horrible of a position we find ourselves in, we are hankering for those things which we do not possess and we are lamenting for those things which we have lost. That is our material business. The restless nature of the mind is what keeps most people from experiencing the bliss of Kṛṣṇa consciousness—even devotees. As aspiring devotees we may have our prescribed service that we regularly engage in, but unless we become satisfied in our position we will not be able to relish the nectar of bhakti. By licking the bottle, we cannot taste the sweetness of the honey.

manaḥ-prasādaḥ saumyatvaṁ

maunam ātma-vinigrahaḥ

bhāva-saṁśuddhir ity etat

tapo mānasam ucyate

        "And satisfaction, simplicity, gravity, self-control and purification of one's existence are the austerities of the mind." (Bhagavad-gītā As It Is 17.16) To achieve this satisfaction and austerity of mind we must detach it from sense gratification. Contemplation of the objects of the senses inflames the desire to enjoy those objects. When the burning desire becomes too compelling, the senses sheepishly follow the dictation of the mind. Therefore the mind should be trained to always think of doing good for others. Gravity of thought properly aligns our mind in this vein. Gravity means that we are serious and dignified in quality. We should not deviate from Kṛṣṇa consciousness and must always avoid sense gratification. Avoiding sense-gratification and being straightforward in our dealings will purify our nature and lead us to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. When we come to this level of purity in Kṛṣṇa consciousness we will be equal to everyone and can genuinely be their well-wisher; not hankering for what they have and lamenting that we do not have. This is the test of advancement. We have no lamenting, no hankering, and we are equal to everyone. Paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ. "The humble sages, by virtue of true knowledge, see with equal vision a learned and gentle brāhmaṇa, a cow, an elephant, a dog and a dog-eater." (Bhagavad-gītā As It Is 5.18)

        So in this way, when we are situated with equal vision, we come to the devotional platform:

brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā

na śocati na kāṅkṣati

samaḥ sarveṣu bhūteṣu

mad-bhaktiṁ labhate parām

"One who is thus transcendentally situated at once realizes the Supreme Brahman and becomes fully joyful. He never laments or desires to have anything. He is equally disposed toward every living entity. In that state he attains pure devotional service unto Me." (Bhagavad-gītā As It Is 18.54) Once we come to this devotional platform, then we are eligible for the highest benefit:

bhaktyā mām abhijānāti

yāvān yaś cāsmi tattvataḥ

tato māṁ tattvato jñātvā

viśate tad-anantaram

"One can understand Me as I am, as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, only by devotional service. And when one is in full consciousness of Me by such devotion, he can enter into the kingdom of God." (Bhagavad-gītā As It Is 18.55)

        So, the requisite satisfaction of the mind for the highest goal can be obtained only by taking the mind away from thoughts of sense enjoyment. The more we think of sense enjoyment, the more the mind becomes dissatisfied. In the present age we unnecessarily engage the mind in so many different ways for sense gratification, and so there is no possibility of the mind's becoming satisfied. The best course is to divert the mind to the Vedic literature, which is full of satisfying stories, as in the Purāṇas and the Mahābhārata. One can take advantage of this knowledge and thus become purified. As Parīkṣit Mahārāja heard Śrīmad-bhāgavatam he said, nivṛtta-tarṣair upagīyamānād bhavauṣadhāc chrotra-mano-'bhirāmāt: (Śrīmad-bhāgavatam 10.1.4) "Narrations about Kṛṣṇa are the proper medicine for those suffering in material existence, and such narrations are very relishable to hear, especially for those who are free of all material hankering."

        As long as we are in material existence, we will feel hankering and lamentation because this world is being conducted chiefly by the modes of passion and ignorance. Therefore ordinarily we hanker to possess something, and if somehow or other we acquire that thing and it is lost, we lament. Even sometimes we lament upon acquiring something that we realize is unfavorable once we have it. Hankering and lamenting and other effects of the lower modes of nature are known as abhadrāṇi, dirt within the heart. So while Parīkṣit Mahārāja has said that narrations about Kṛṣṇa are especially relishable for persons who have transcended all hankering and lamenting, he also says that for the common man these narrations are bhavauṣadhāc chrotra-mano-'bhirāmāt—very pleasing to the ears and the heart, and the proper medicine to cure the disease of material life and cleanse the dirt within the heart.

        Therefore our program in the Kṛṣṇa consciousness society is to give people in general a chance to hear about Kṛṣṇa. This is our mission, which has been given to us by Caitanya Mahāprabhu. He said (Caitanya-caritāmṛta Madhya-līlā 7.128):

yāre dekha, tāre kaha 'kṛṣṇa'-upadeśa

āmāra ājñāya guru hañā tāra' ei deśa

"On my order become a spiritual master and try to explain kṛṣṇa-kathā to everyone you meet." Kṛṣṇa-kathā means words spoken by Kṛṣṇa, such as the Bhagavad-gītā, and words about Kṛṣṇa, such as Śrīmad-bhāgavatam. Caitanya Mahāprabhu ordered us to distribute these two kinds of kṛṣṇa-kathā throughout the whole world. By reading kṛṣṇa-kathā and sharing Kṛṣṇa with everyone, we can very easily traverse this ocean of material existence and relish the supreme taste of Kṛṣṇa consciousness in this very lifetime.

Shelter

Have you ever been in the ocean before when there is a strong rip-tide or undertow? Even though your feet may be firmly fixed in the sand on the bottom, the pull of the current irresistibly pulls you in whatever direction it is going. One who does not know, or does not care, about the implications of the situation will give in and "go with the flow." However, this can be disastrous for the individual in danger. Every year hundreds of people die as a result of not taking the current seriously. Even the gaṅgā, almost every year during the Māyāpur Gaura-pūrṇimā festival one or more devotees drown by being pulled under by the current. Yet, what does all this have to do with shelter?
In devotional life we are in the same situation with Māyā, the illusory energy of the Lord, as with the current. We are part of the marginal energy because we have the tendency to become covered. Although we are part of the parā-prakṛti, the inferior material energy is much larger and overwhelmingly powerful. Māyā is also called Durgā, or a very strong fort. She can overwhelm us with her energy and keep us trapped in her jail. When we endeavor in bhakti-yoga, we are essentially declaring war on Māyā. Māyā takes this declaration seriously. She will make arrangements with her energy to test our sincerity of purpose. Are we serious in our desire to go back to Kṛṣṇa, or is our desire for a material boon stronger? She will try to allure us with so many things, including the opposite sex and the six opulences: wealth, fame, power, intelligence, beauty, and renunciation. By ourselves, we cannot overcome her unrelenting onslaught. So we have to be constantly vigilant, constantly aware of the dangerous currents trying to pull us deep into the ocean of material nescience. Rather than giving in to or being complacent about such currents, we need to actively take shelter of guru, sādhu, śāstra, and ultimately Kṛṣṇa.

The example of Mahārāja Ambarīṣa from Śrīmad-bhāgavatam (9.4.18-20) illustrates how to properly take shelter:

sa vai manaḥ kṛṣṇa-padāravindayor

vacāṁsi vaikuṇṭha-guṇānuvarṇane

karau harer mandira-mārjanādiṣu

śrutiṁ cakārācyuta-sat-kathodaye

mukunda-liṅgālaya-darśane dṛśau

tad-bhṛtya-gātra-sparśe 'ṅga-saṅgamam

ghrāṇaṁ ca tat-pāda-saroja-saurabhe

śrīmat-tulasyā rasanāṁ tad-arpite

pādau hareḥ kṣetra-padānusarpaṇe

śiro hṛṣīkeśa-padābhivandane

kāmaṁ ca dāsye na tu kāma-kāmyayā

yathottamaśloka-janāśrayā ratiḥ

"Mahārāja Ambarīṣa always engaged his mind in meditating upon the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa, his words in describing the glories of the Lord, his hands in cleansing the Lord's temple, and his ears in hearing the words spoken by Kṛṣṇa or about Kṛṣṇa. He engaged his eyes in seeing the Deity of Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa's temples and Kṛṣṇa's places like Mathurā and Vṛndāvana, he engaged his sense of touch in touching the bodies of the Lord's devotees, he engaged his sense of smell in smelling the fragrance of tulasī offered to the Lord, and he engaged his tongue in tasting the Lord's prasāda. He engaged his legs in walking to the holy places and temples of the Lord, his head in bowing down before the Lord, and all his desires in serving the Lord, twenty-four hours a day. Indeed, Mahārāja Ambarīṣa never desired anything for his own sense gratification. He engaged all his senses in devotional service, in various engagements related to the Lord. This is the way to increase attachment for the Lord and be completely free from all material desires." If one wants to understand Kṛṣṇa and be protected from His external energy, one must follow in the footsteps of Mahārāja Ambarīṣa.

It is said, hṛṣīkeṇa hṛṣīkeśa-sevanaṁ bhaktir ucyate (Caitanya-caritāmṛta Madhya-līlā 19.170): bhakti means to engage the senses in the service of the master of the senses, Kṛṣṇa, who is called Hṛṣīkeśa or Acyuta. When the spirit soul renders service unto the Supreme, there are two side effects. One is freed from all material designations, and one's senses are purified simply by being employed in the service of the Lord. We must engage our five senses and the mind in Kṛṣṇa's service to receive shelter from the vigilance of Māyā. Nārada Muni says in Śrīmad-bhāgavatam (1.6.34), "It is personally experienced by me that those who are always full of cares and anxieties due to desiring contact of the senses with their objects can cross the ocean of nescience on a most suitable boat—the constant chanting of the transcendental activities of the Personality of Godhead." Śrīla Prabhupāda explains in the purport that the symptom of a living being is that he cannot remain silent even for some time. He must be doing something, thinking of something or talking about something. Materialistic people generally think and discuss about subjects which satisfy their senses, but as these things are exercised under the influence of the external, illusory energy, such sensual activities do not actually give them any satisfaction. On the contrary, these activities fill one with unlimited cares and anxieties. This is called māyā, or what is not. That which cannot give them satisfaction is accepted as an object for satisfaction.

Thus we must beg Kṛṣṇa for help as King Mucukunda did (Śrīmad-bhāgavatam 10.51.57): "For so long I have been pained by troubles in this world and have been burning with lamentation. My six enemies (the five senses and the mind) are never satiated, and I can find no peace. Therefore, O giver of shelter, O Supreme Soul, please protect me. O Lord, in the midst of danger I have by good fortune approached Your lotus feet, which are the truth and which thus make one fearless and free of sorrow." Kṛṣṇa will give us the intelligence, dadāmi buddhi-yogaṁ tam, but we must act when we have the inspiration. Just as we should get out of the strong current when we notice we are being swept away, we should also unhesitatingly execute Kṛṣṇa's guidance when we receive it. No one can check the thinking activities of a living being, nor the feeling, willing or working processes, but if one wants actual happiness one must change the subject matter to Kṛṣṇa. We must consciously take shelter of Kṛṣṇa by chanting our japa nicely, going to the morning and evening programs in to temple, following the four regulative principles of freedom, engaging in service, and associating with the devotees. By doing so, the conditioned soul will gradually be promoted to the transcendental position and easily cross the ocean of nescience, the source of all miseries. "Therefore, completely controlling the five senses and the mind by Kṛṣṇa consciousness, a sage, having experienced spiritual bliss within the self, should live detached from insignificant material sense gratification." (Śrīmad-bhāgavatam 11.18.23)

The value of a Vaiṣṇava

What is the value of even a moment of association with a Vaiṣṇava? Priceless. In the Śrīmad-bhāgavatam (11.2.4-8) the great sage Nārada came to Dvārakā to visit for some time. While there, he visited the house of Vasudeva, the father of Vāsudeva (Dvārakādīśa). After worshiping Nārada with suitable paraphernalia, seating him comfortably and respectfully bowing down to him, Vasudeva spoke as follows: "My lord, your visit, like that of a father to his children, is for the benefit of all living beings. You especially help the most wretched among them, as well as those who are advanced on the path toward the Supreme Lord, Uttamaśloka. The activities of the demigods lead to both misery and happiness for living beings, but the activities of great saints like you, who have accepted the infallible Lord as their very soul, result only in the happiness of all beings. Those who worship the demigods receive reciprocation from the demigods in a way just corresponding to the offering. The demigods are attendants of karma, like a person's shadow, but sādhus are actually merciful to the fallen. O brāhmāṇa, although I am satisfied simply by seeing you, I still wish to inquire about those duties which give pleasure to the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Any mortal who faithfully hears about them is freed from all kinds of fear. In a previous birth on this earth, I worshiped the Supreme Lord, Ananta, who alone can award liberation, but because I desired to have a child, I did not worship Him for liberation. Thus I was bewildered by the Lord's illusory energy. My dear lord, you are always true to your vow. Please instruct me clearly, so that by your mercy I may easily free myself from material existence, which is full of many dangers and keep us constantly bound in fear."

Vasudeva's address to Nārada is significant because it illustrates the necessity of association with devotees, sādhu-saṅga. It is a natural tendency to worship those who are greater or more powerful than us because they can grant some apparent benefit; whether it be a boss for a better job, a rich person for money, a demigod for some material boon, or even the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Only Kṛṣṇa can award the highest benediction, but unless we have the mercy of the devotees we will not have the intelligence to ask for the highest boon. Vasudeva was worshiping Lord Ananta, but for a son and not for entrance into Vaikuṇṭha. Since devotees are naturally merciful, they give direction and grant boons with the ultimate benefit of the recipient in mind rather than what the recipient requests or deserves. Sādhus are also fully engaged in devotional service. The process of devotional service purifies our heart and allows us to see the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Kṛṣṇa, as one person sees another person face to face. When we associate with someone, we naturally pick up the habits and behaviors of our acquaintances. One can judge the character of a person by whose association he is taking.

       Kṛṣṇa directly corroborates this when He instructs Uddhava in Śrīmad-bhāgavatam (11.11.25): "One who has obtained pure devotional service by association with My devotees always engages in worshiping Me. Thus he very easily goes to My abode, which is revealed by My devotees." In the purport Śrīla Prabhupāda explains that by living in a society of devotees one will automatically be engaged twenty-four hours a day in the various processes of devotional service, beginning with śravaṇam, kīrtanam and smaraṇam (hearing, glorifying and remembering the Lord) . The pure devotees of the Lord can reveal the spiritual world by their transcendental sound vibration, making it possible for even a neophyte devotee to experience the Lord's abode. In Śrīmad-bhāgavatam (11.11.48) Kṛṣṇa reiterates the point by saying, "My dear Uddhava, I am personally the ultimate shelter and way of life for saintly liberated persons, and thus if one does not engage in My loving devotional service, which is made possible by association with My devotees, than for all practical purposes, one possesses no effective means for escaping from material existence."

       In the next chapter (11.12.1-2), Kṛṣṇa goes even further to say, "My dear Uddhava, by associating with My pure devotees one can destroy one's attachment for all objects of material sense gratification. Such purifying association brings Me under the control of My devotee. One may perform the aṣṭāṅga-yoga system, engage in philosophical analysis of the elements of material nature, practice nonviolence and other ordinary principles of piety, chant the Vedas, perform penances, take to the renounced order of life, execute sacrificial performances and dig wells, plant trees and perform other public welfare activities, give in charity, carry out severe vows, worship the demigods, chant confidential mantras, visit holy places or accept major and minor disciplinary injunctions, but even by performing such activities one does not bring Me under his control." Therefore we must learn to appreciate the association of devotees. Devotees are not ordinary materialists. For the devotee, Kṛṣṇa is his very life and soul. We should not view the devotees materially, or based on the material background they come from. We should relish every opportunity we get to be enlivened by the gentle, doe-like devotees. The association of devotees is the greatest treasure on can have.

Age of the Cloud

         It is interesting to see the communications trends in modern society and the effects of globalization. Previously people stayed within their village and had the time to physically talk to others, establishing close relationships. Life was much easier and much less hectic. Now, especially is one lives in the city, it is difficult to co-ordinate schedules with others to have any interaction.

       From my own experience, I am more busy now than I have ever been in the past. I remember before I became a monk I hard-pressed to justify working more than twenty hours a week. If I already have the basic necessities paid for, then why go through all that stress and anxiety? Now, I find myself working (at times) upward of sixteen to eighteen hours each day, every day of the week. I found that since I love what I do, I can never get enough. Consequently, I never have any time anymore. As I do not have a cell phone, I find it next to impossible to call people when I have a break here and there in my work and when I can call I get a message.

       That is why I have always preferred email. I can send a message when I have time and receive replies when they have time. Yet I found many of the nuances that make a friendship memorable are lost through such a medium of communication. It is the small things that make our interactions meaningful. That is why I find the online social networking to be compelling. It is a place where we can post the small things going on in our lives to keep everyone up to date. Of course meeting in vivo is the best, but the facility of these online resources are making it easier to patch together a more cohesive social fabric in our over-worked society.